Mum guilt, parent guilt or whatever you want to call it is something that I’ve suffered with from the moment I became pregnant 9 years ago. It manifests itself in some horrid ways, and although I’ve become pretty good at identifying it and stopping it before it starts, sometimes it sneaks in and manipulates my thought process, making me feel down and anxious.
This happened at the end of last week. After going from feelings of clarity, excitement and joy about our home educating journey, I was feeling anxious and filled with worry, thinking about everything I was / could be doing wrong (see Second Week Home Educating – Sleep Patterns), and how I should be doing more. Focusing on worrying thoughts, especially those placed there by the guilt queen can do no good. Once the thought has been focused on for more than a few moments, it grows tremendously and effortlessly spreads like a computer virus, a virus that causes shut down.
Thankfully I am not a computer. I spent last night and this morning focusing on good thoughts, thoughts without worry or guilt and today I have felt much better and I’m sure I’ll feel even more so tomorrow. Re- reading my own blog posts have helped me focus on why I am doing this, leaving no room for the guilt queen to speak so I guess my guilt about spending time writing this blog was pointless too!
So here is a little tip for you. If you’re feeling like crap, you’re probably having crap thoughts. Take a few moments to concentrate on a thought or scenario that makes you happy. This can be something great that you’ve experienced or something that you want to experience. (The former is probably easier to do when you’re feeling bad as its easier to remember something great, rather than trying to imagine something great from your worried state!) If you start to notice the bad feeling reappearing, repeat the good thought until it disperses it completely. Repeat as necessary…